The Five-Star Courthouse

Here is a very short story. I’m working on my microfiction skills. Comments and typo hunters, welcome.

The Five-Star Courthouse

Ray didn’t say no when John asked him if his dog was the one who dug the hole in the park by the bench. Ray didn’t even have a dog. Did a blue cotton suit and shoes that shined like polished tree-bark look like clothes that a dog owner would wear? When John asked him if he paid a deposit for the cat that was sitting in his apartment window, Ray didn’t say no. Ray didn’t know what cat he was talking about. Would a single guy who wears white shirts under his suit and fucks so many women ever be caught dead with a cat in his studio? When John handed him the eviction notice in the doorway, Ray wouldn’t take it. Why would a naked man standing in the doorway with no clothes to his name be living in that apartment? Ray made a fake Google account and left a one-star review that mentioned the rude pet owners who let their pets dig in the park, lost pet deposits, and the intolerance of hard-working American’s lifestyles. The police officer with the messed-up shave said to work it out in court.

John was in the office behind the courtroom when Ray arrived. John said he couldn’t prove that Ray was a cat person, but he could prove that it was Ray’s dog that dug the hole in the park. The judge told Ray he was late and asked him why he was naked in a courtroom. Did a small office with a red wooden table and a white minifridge in the corner look like a courtroom to you? On top of that, why would anyone show up to court naked? The judge thought about it and broke down and said he wasn’t really a judge. His diplomas were fakes and his references were fraudulent. John punched Ray in the face. The judge dialed 9-1-1. The police officer arrested John for assault and for making fun of his funky stubble. Ray said he could keep a secret and asked the judge if he wanted a cat or a dog. The judge said both. John left five stars on Google for the courthouse.

fiction The Five-Star Courthouse