The Thing Is, I’m Super Reachable – An Essay

I’m a shy guy. I don’t pursue conversation well. Sometimes when we’re in a place and you talk to me, I might be short with you because I don’t understand that you’re trying to get my contact information. Luckily, I’m super reachable. I mean, really really super reachable.

Some people have said that I should be more direct and reach out to other people myself. But here’s the thing; I’m shy and they’re not and there are literally so many ways to contact me that I almost can’t even. But a good point is a good point. I can at least give you my name.

Hello, person. My name is Eric Shay Howard. I’m passive-aggressive.

My email address wasn’t hard to figure out while I was in college if you knew my name and where I went to college. My business email address is NOT hard to figure out or find in my contact page.

My username is the same on almost everything. Also, my username is my name. I mean, it’s not hard. In this essay, I’m going to show how ridiculously easy it is to contact me, because I’m tired of trying to be extroverted when I’m just not an extrovert, okay? The world needs quiet people like me so that we can be us and you non-quiet people can be you. It’s the internet. You’re supposed to be free to be you and I’m supposed to be free to be on the internet. Or many I’m just thinking of the US Constitution. Actually, I don’t even think that’s in the constitution, but whatever.

I’m not hard to find on the Internet. I’ve made it super easy. Like, insanely simple. Like, for real. I can’t even explain how simple it is to contact me because, I mean, God damn it, it’s just so easy. Like, if you know me and you need to contact me, all you have to do is, you know, go to any major social media platform, type my name, and boom! I’m like right there.

Actually you don’t even have to go to any social media. My fucking website URL is my fucking name! My email address is on my contact page. Links to my other social media accounts are on the sidebar, and I’ll probably put them on the bottom of this, because I usually do.

In conclusion, if you want to get ahold of me, it’s so easy to reach me you don’t even know, as long as you know my name. Again, my name is Eric Shay Howard. You can type my full name into your browser. You can type my full name into Twitter, or Instagram, or Facebook. I hope you can clearly see by now how fucking God damn easy it is to contact me. What’s my name? Just type it in whatever the hell platform you want to use! I can’t even– I don’t know why you– I mean, Jesus Christ! Turnips!

Me shirtless
I’m so reachable that I’m shirtless!

Works Cited

Howard, Eric Shay. “Contact – Eric Shay Howard.”

Howard, Eric Shay. Twitter.

Howard, Eric Shay. Facebook.

Howard, Eric Shay. Instagram.

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram and add me on Snapchat to follow along with my all day and see photos of stuff as it happens instead of however long it takes me to write about them. You can also like my page on Facebook.

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Pete Jakubowski

    You certainly have a way with words, Eric!! That is your name, right??

    1. Eric

      How did you know my name? Why have you been following me? Who are you? What do you want from me? I used to play Power Rangers in my backyard! I know fake karate!

      1. Pete Jakubowski

        I have my sources!! Or sorcerers, that is! And I’ve watched Fake Karate, so I’m sure I can laugh while I’m being attacked!! 😃😂

Comments are closed.