I Went To A Bar On Easter

For Easter my friend was like, let’s go to the cemetery and take pictures of trees. I said okay. So we went to see Colonel Sanders’s grave because people do that for some reason. My friend took pictures of trees in the cemetery while I took pictures of him taking pictures because art. Then we went to a bar.

Last week, I did a blog about how I was swearing off of Grindr and going to bars. This weekend I tested that theory. I’m socially awkward as crap, so I stayed close to my friend who knew people, kinda. There were these fake gay nuns there who were cooking things and walking around and being shiny for a few hours and that kept everyone mostly occupied. My friend left me alone for a minute and went outside to talk with a guy for a bit. He said he’d be back. Then I got fondled and kissed on the cheek by an old man. I didn’t know what to do about it so I just walked away. We lost our table.

I was the only introvert in there by the time it got dark. I played on my phone for about an hour while my friend kept buying me Budweiser. Then my friend went somewhere and the guy he’d been talking to all day started chatting with me about Teddy Bears, the other gay bar that I’m closer to, but don’t like to go to unless I go with a group of people because I always get fondled in it. Introverts don’t travel in groups very often, so I haven’t been to Teddy Bears since January.

My friend came back and told me someone was breaking into his car so we went outside. Then he told me that no one was actually breaking into his car, he just had to get me away from that guy because the guys on the other side of me told him to. Apparently that other guy goes around prying on weak innocent introverts. Now I don’t think I should go to bars anymore.

Since I swore off Grindr and now I don’t go to bars, I’m running out of social activities to meet guys at. About the only other thing I can think of to do is walk around town aimlessly or go to a coffee shop, but people don’t talk to people they don’t know in coffee shops. People sit and read and type and wait for the people they’re meeting in coffee shops. Right?


By Eric Shay Howard

Eric Shay Howard lives in Indianapolis. He's a teacher, a literary editor, and writer. He's a graduate student in the Bluegrass Writers Studio MFA in Creative Writing program at Eastern Kentucky University. He also has MBA and BA degrees.


  1. WOW!! Certainly was a very different experience. As an introvert, I can totally relate to your uncomfortableness!! Today’s a New Day!!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: