I Bought New Clothes From The Gap

It’s been about a year and a half since I bought new clothes. I was running out of clothes I liked to wear, so I went on a journey to buy new clothes.

I was at the mercy of the bus schedule, which involves taking the #4 to Broadway in Downtown Louisville, and then the #23 to St. Matthews. It takes about 45 minutes. A boyfriend with a car would’ve come in handy, just saying. Then I wouldn’t have had to deal with the mean old man who wanted to get to “Eastgate”. He wanted the bus driver to tell him how to get to Eastgate, but no one knew where Eastgate was. Someone mentioned the #31. I mentioned that I thought you could get on the #31 where I was going to get on the #23. When he realized he had to cross the street because I was going the other way, he got really mad. He asked the driver of the #23 about Eastgate, told him to cross the street, and then I watched him go the wrong way around the corner. I spent random moments throughout the day wondering if he ever got to Eastgate, wherever that was.

I hadn’t been to the mall in a while. I got to the St. Matthews Mall only to be reminded that I was too old to shop in almost every store in it. There was a more “adultier” mall a bit further down the road called the Oxmoor Mall, but I couldn’t walk to it because I guess Louisville forgot to finish building sidewalks once it got to the St. Matthews Mall. I couldn’t manage to get safely between the properties along the shoulder either because I guess there was no real shoulder for some reason? There was only what looked like what would’ve been roadkill if I even attempted to shimmy along the narrow thing that was supposed to be the shoulder or the guardrail on the other side of the street. I had to wait 20 minutes for the bus to come again and drop me off not even 3 minutes up the road.

Once I got inside the Oxmoor, which had the exact same signage as the other mall, I remembered that they were basically the same, except it has an Apple Store in it and the absence of a few of the younger age-appropriate stores inside it gave the mall the illusion of a few more older age-appropriate clothing selections for me.

I checked on what Banana Republic had to offer me, but their clothes were expensive as crap, so I went to the Gap across from it and got 2 shirts, a new hoodie, and a pair of dirty-gravel jeans. The wash on the denim even made the jeans look like they’d been peed in, so I knew they were in style the second I picked them up. I was so sure about the jeans that I didn’t even try them on. The two shirts were a humdinger, though. I spent probably an hour looking at shirts, unfolding them, checking against my skin and size, and folding them back, and wondering if that mean old man ever made it to Eastgate. Someone even asked me if they could use the fitting room. I said sure!

There are 2 things that I’m not. I’m not a fashion model and I’m not a photographer. So, like most of America, I just try. After a few days of trying to take the perfect selfie that shows off the new look, I gave up and snapped this on the way back from the grocery store.

I decided on super casual instead of super fancy, because I tend to try to dress too fancy sometimes and needed a change anyway. I also tend to overdo the maroons and the faded reds and pinks. Not today!

My goal was to spend less than $100. I spent $100.03. So, I failed, but only by 3 cents. That’s 3 cents less that I’ll have for rent in May, but I’m not as worried about it as I probably should be because I can probably make 1 penny back with my ad revenue, and probably bum the rest of it back off of my mommy.

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter for more failed clothes shopping trips throughout the week and even on weekends.

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